The Spicy 5: Parsley Sisters Take South Africa
- Ellen Lutz and Rachel Hart
- Jun 13, 2018
- 15 min read
As many of you know, I was lucky enough to have a visit from my 4 amazing big sisters in April. We laughed, we hugged, we cried, we even fought a little. It was far from perfect and I contributed more to the drama than I would have liked. After many “if onlys” and “woulda couldas,” I had to come to place where I could accept what was and learn to be a better version of my sister self in the future. I think I’m there. Yeah, I still wish I would’ve said somethings and left other things unspoken, but I am grateful for the forgiving and gracious love of my sisters. I am confident that our relationships are stronger than they were before our trip and we made some dang good memories along the rocky road as well.
We nicknamed ourselves The Spicy Five, a parody of the famous Big Five animals found here in SA. To give ya’ll a break of reading my crazy thoughts, 2 of the spicy five have jotted down a review of our trip and lucky you darling reader, you now get a first-hand look into their wise and authentic perspectives!
And now ladies and gentleman…
I present The Spicy Five Trip Review by Camp Spice Ellen and Pastor Spice Rachel…
Part 1: Photo Journal by Ellen Lutz
When Caitlin mentioned writing something for her blog at the end of our trip, I agreed. There were so many thoughts swimming around in my head, and I thought I’d be able to get them out in some profound, but to the point blog post. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I just didn’t seem to have a way or the time to get my thoughts out; certainly not in a profound way. I gave up. When I told Caitlin I probably wouldn’t get this done, she suggested just pictures with captions. At first it seemed like the lazy un-profound way of fulfilling her request, but as I’ve mulled it over these past weeks, it seems kind of perfect. One of my absolute favorite things to do is to document our little life with an annual photo book. My kids love looking through those books, it provides a memorial for us to look back on our year, a way to see God how moves in our lives. Anyway, I’ve included some pictures of our trip below with a little bit of my thoughts; much like I do when I scrapbook.
DAYS ONE AND TWO
JOHHANNESBURG
WHAT WE DID…
The first day was just recovering from the long flight. We met a nice man and his family who owned and operated the place we stayed at for the two nights in Johannesburg. We went to the Apartheid Museum, ate at various restaurants, saw a few art exhibits.
THOUGHTS…
It was fun to meet Rashid and his family. Working in hospitality myself, I really enjoyed experiencing it from the end of the guest, not to mention in a completely different culture. Actually though, in this circumstance, not much was different. Rashid was all about making our stay the best it could be, and seemed to enjoy helping us navigate a new city. As someone who has worked in the industry for a few years, I know how easy it is for one person to run into the next and how tiring it can be. At times a little peace or privacy is a commodity. It can be easy to forget how much we can impact people, even if we’re not intending to. It was refreshing to see Rashid going strong. It gave me new vigor going into another camping season at the campground I manage. I feel like most of the things I want to say have already been said better, so I’ll let the writers of Adventures in Odyssey say it, “Every time you come in contact with another human being, something happens. Neither one of you is quite the same ever again. You can't drift through life thinking you're never going to influence anybody. God made each and every one of us dependent on other people. He wants us to feel some sort of responsibility towards each other. What type of world would we live in if we didn't care for one another?” – John Avery Whittaker (Adventures in Odyssey).
It was hard for me to sift through the Apartheid museum while maintaining a biblical world view. I realize this might not be important to many readers, and some of you probably just rolled your eyes. But as a Christian, this is always something I try to do. I don’t always get it right. That’s my first thought actually. As I read some of the history I wondered where all the Christians were. Didn’t some of them, at least, try to right this wrong? I’m not an expert on Apartheid, but my guess is, like every terrible thing we learn about in history, there were some Christians on the “right” side and some on the “wrong” side. It got me thinking about my life here. Am I studying scripture to the point that I can distinguish right from wrong? There are so many voices available for us to listen to these days, its super easy to access information. It’s also super easy for eloquent writers, teachers, preachers, and speakers to present opinions as facts, and to skew information to fit their agenda or beliefs. Scripture was used both to defend and argue against slavery here in the States. One of those positions was right and one was wrong. Am I wise enough to differentiate individual thoughts and ideas versus biblical truth, even if both sides use scripture to prove their point?
When I got home from my trip, the kids and I continued memorizing the scripture we were working on. As they were saying it to me, my mind immediately went back to South Africa and their struggle as they find their way in a post apartheid era. I don’t understand why things like apartheid are allowed to prevail for a time, but I do know that God is still in control. Isaiah 40: 21-31. Brace yourself, it’s a long one.
Do you not know? Do you not hear? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? 22 It is he who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers; who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, and spreads them like a tent to dwell in; 23 who brings princes to nothing, and makes the rulers of the earth as emptiness.
24 Scarcely are they planted, scarcely sown, scarcely has their stem taken root in the earth, when he blows on them, and they wither, and the tempest carries them off like stubble.
25 To whom then will you compare me, that I should be like him? says the Holy One. 26 Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name; by the greatness of his might and because he is strong in power, not one is missing.
27 Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God”? 28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. 29 He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. 30 Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; 31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
DAYS THREE AND FOUR
SAFARI
WHAT WE DID…
This is probably pretty obvious, but we spent most of the days we were here on safari with our guide, Moses. We saw the big five. I didn’t know what the “big five” where until South Africa, now I’m proud to pass on my knowledge. The big five are lion, leopard, rhinoceros (black and white), elephant, and buffalo. I thought the buffalo would be boring, but they were amazing and we were able to get super close to them. We also saw many other animals including giraffes and zebras. Moses and another guide took us on a walk on our last day. We learned about tracks, poop, and saw a pretty amazing looking spider that I can’t seem to find the picture of. Bonus… I now know that an impala isn’t just a car!
THOUGHTS…
First, Moses was awesome. I absolutely loved his passion and great respect for God’s creation. He hopes to open his own lodge someday with his brother. I hope he is able to achieve that dream.Second, God is so amazing. Even watching a tiny dung beetle do his thing was fascinating.
Third, I love my sisters. One of the nights we were there we hashed out some heavy stuff. It was obvious that even among the five of us, with a similar history, we had different thoughts and opinions. I was struggling that night. My sister Caitlin and I have always had a special bond, I think, partially because we share a lot of the same passions. I still can’t really put in words what was going on in me, except that it was hard for me to accept that my sister had some vastly different views than I did. I didn’t handle it well, and I wish I could re-do that night. I’ve thought about what I’d say and do differently if I could. I guess I would have been less sensitive and much more gracious in my attitude. I would have spoken kinder when I did speak and finished the conversation well in my actions. I’m so thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning. I don’t get to re-do that night, but I do get to make changes going forward. I’m hopeful for more hard conversations in the future where I’ll be able share God’s great love and approach hard topics with grace and patience in a way that doesn’t sacrifice truth.
DAYS FIVE AND SIX
WHERE CAITLIN LIVES AND TEACHES
Southern Limpopo and Caitlin’s Primary School
WHAT WE DID…
We stayed with Caitlin and her host family, went on a walk outside her village and climbed a big rock, met her teaching staff and students, we even got to teach her class for a bit.
THOUGHTS…
Her host family was so very hospitable to us. Caitlin’s host mom made us a traditional South African meal. She even set out forks for us, knowing we wouldn’t be able to eat with our hands like they do. It was pretty amazing to watch their skill. They were so gracious in carting us around to go shopping, teaching us a fun card game, and taking us on that walk.
I think my favorite part of the trip was meeting Caitlin’s students. There was so much life in that school room. The children were genuinely curious, and loved hearing about how we got here and our families and life in the States. It was really hard to keep them focused and quiet, and honestly one hour felt like five, then once it was over I missed it! I think life is like that. There have been so many phases of my life that feel like they drag on and I just can’t wait to be done, then, when it’s over I miss it (or some aspects anyway, I definitely don’t miss high school).
Caitlin had to go training, so she arranged transportation for us. I had the privilege of sitting in the front and talking to Mr. Mogale, a teacher at a nearby school. I enjoyed hearing his take on education in South Africa, and a little about the current political climate. I can’t say I agree with much of what he said, but I appreciated his perspective. This idea of “privilege” seemed to come up over and over again, either amongst the sisters or even by others we were able to visit with. I can’t say I’m an expert on “white privilege” or any other kind of privilege. I don’t agree with everything that is said by some of the louder voices here in the States, both Christian and non-Christian. To be honest, sometimes I tire of all the facebook posts, bloggers, and news stories on this topic. I also realize that having never experienced anything other than “white privilege” I have the potential to be pretty callus to the plight of those trying to raise awareness.
Here’s what I do know. We all have different gifts, so we will all “do life” differently (see Romans 12). We should focus on the gifts we have been given and use those gifts to the best of our ability (see Luke 12:48). Since the trip I’ve been thinking on these things. Am I living my life in a way that uses the gifts I have been given wisely? Am I working to my full potential in all areas of my life? Am I modeling a life that strives to serve God using my gifts more than a life that strives to serve myself using my gifts? Do my children know their God given gifts? Are we aware, in our family, of what the needs are in our community? Am I fostering creativity in my kids as they grow to begin to use their gifts to serve God and others? Are we modeling using our gifts to serve God and others as a family? Am I willing to give up some of the resources I spend on my children in order to help a child with less than we have? Am I willing to accept that my other fellow Christians have different gifts and ideas on how to use them and give them grace to operate in those areas, even if I don’t agree everything they do?
Even though I haven’t completely unpacked the answers to any of the questions above, I am thankful for God’s word and how it really does have the answers to the problems and questions I face in this life. Last thought; I definitely don’t understand much of what is going on in the world. If I thought I did before my trip, I know I don’t now. I do know a little better of how to pray for my sister, her village, and the country of South Africa. It has been my delight to pray with my kids as I share my trip experiences.
Part 2: Trip of a Lifetime by Rachel Hart
“....I bet that was a trip of a lifetime!”
After coming home from my trip to South Africa to visit my younger sister Caitlin, I heard this comment from many people. And they are 100% right. It was indeed the trip of a lifetime! It was a week away with all of my sisters, a chance to see a part of the world I’ve never seen or experienced. In some ways it is a lot like home, and in other ways completely different. While this was a vacation, it wasn’t exclusively a week of relaxing, eating incredible food, and enjoying a new place (although we definitely did that, especially on our safari!). Because we spent time in the city and in Caitlin’s village we also engaged in some of the social and economic issues that South Africa is currently facing.
As many of you know, South Africa is a country that was under the system of apartheid for many years (a system of racism designed to benefit the small, but powerful white population of South Africa, and oppressed people of color within the country), and only recently (apartheid was abolished in 1991, so 27 years ago), was that system ended, providing equal opportunities and rights for white and black South Africans.
So I tend to think of South Africa in terms of black and white. Apartheid was bad. Now that system has ended and that’s good. Those aren’t wrong statements, but they are very black and white statements. I wanted this to be a black and white trip to South Africa. To see the incredible change and restoration that has happened in a country with a rough past (not that this narrative is unique only to South Africa by any means). Many of us wish we lived in a black and white world, but the reality is, we live in a world that is very gray. Issues are complex. There are various ways to see a problem and solutions to said problems. Often problems are not caused by a single variable, but by many different issues. And all of the sudden problems are harder to solve, people are harder to dislike, and while there’s a lot more tension in the gray, there also needs to be a lot more compassion, humility, and love in that tension.
So my trip to South Africa was incredibly gray. Here are a few ways in which that was true.
Time with my sisters was good...and hard! There are fourteen years between the oldest and youngest Parsley sisters. That means we have almost all had changing relationships with one another as our life stages have changed, not been in sync with one another, and we have grown up. I don’t have many memories of living with my oldest two sisters, and our relationships have grown as adults, now that our life stages are more similarly aligned. This has been a wonderful thing! But when you put all five of us together, for an extended period of time in a new place and throw jet lag into the mix, things can get crazy...fast! Time together was sweet, but I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that there were moments of tension. Moments where we needed “time-outs” if you will, and times where I thought, “how in the world did we all come from the same 2 people?!” There was tension on the trip, but in that tension I was able to have real conversations with my sisters, we pushed each other, we learned about each other and the way we see the world, and we all came away (at least I hope) challenged to see things a little more gray.
Race relations in South Africa. I spent 6 days in the country. So I am by no means an expert. Beyond that, I only saw Johannesburg, a private lodge in Kruger National Park, and the village that Caitlin lives in. In my head, now that apartheid is over things are equitable, black and white South Africans are friends, and the new South Africa is one of harmony and healthy relationships between cultures. While I think this is certainly true for some, it’s not true for all. Economically things are still not very equitable within the country. There’s much diversity in Johannesburg, but in Caitlin’s village, the 5 white women stuck out like sore thumbs. We witnessed racism in comments from other white people as someone assumed because of the color of our skin we felt a certain way about our darker skinned brothers and sisters. In addition, I felt like a zoo animal as people stared at me. There are places where the hurt, pain, and brokenness from apartheid is not healed. 27 years isn’t that long for some of these incredible injuries to heal. I pray for the nation of South Africa. I pray that God will raise up Godly leaders, and that the Holy Spirit will be working in people’s hearts to desire true reconciliation that is only found and possible in Jesus Christ. The realities of post apartheid South Africa are incredibly gray. Not only did I see that tension in South Africa, but it opened my eyes to the tension we still have and need to engage within my own country. It’s complex, it was hard to keep showing up and engaging even for just 6 days, but I have hope that if we can meet in the gray area together that we can find common ground and true reconciliation.
Rural South Africa looked nothing like I expected. My sister’s host family had a nicer kitchen and bathroom than I do. When I envision rural South Africa, or even rural Africa, I think of orphans with bloated bellies, no shoes, having to walk miles for clean water. Now, that is the reality in some areas, but it’s certainly not true of the entire country of South Africa or continent of Africa. We had running water, electricity, wifi, and a beautiful home! There were kids everywhere (at least it felt that way), but most of these kids aren’t orphans, it’s just what you do after school! Head outside, spend time with neighbors and friends, and your parents know that you’ll stay close/that you’re with trusted neighbors and friends. These children and families were not living subpar lives, in fact I found myself envious of their community, the fellowship that happened in the front yard, and the openness with which their schedule and resources were held. It pushed on my black and white picture of time, boundaries, and community, and I found that I liked the gray better, and I hope to bring some of that to my own neighborhood here in Minnesota!
There’s so much more I could say. I’m still processing my trip, all that I saw and learned, and what to do with that in my own life. Caitlin is an incredible teacher, lives with an incredible family that I consider to be my family (that is, if the Ntuli’s really want 4 more daughters!), and has learned far more than I have about life in South Africa in six short days. I have mad respect for the work she is doing, and I’m so thankful this trip pushed me a little farther into the scary gray territory of life. If you want to hear more about my trip and experiences, please ask! Better yet, give Cait a call or send her a letter, she has a wealth of humble experience and training and can speak to all of these observances I’ve made far better than I can!
...Aww thanks Rachie-pooooo.
As you can see, my sisters are awesome and so was our trip. Crazy how God’s creativity is evident not only in the diversity of this world but even in our micro worlds of family. My sisters and I have so much in common and at the same time each bring something completely unique and beautiful to the table. I’m who I am because of these humans. Thank you Miranda, Alicia, Ellen, and Rachel for how you have shaped me into the person I am today. Thanks for pushing me to be better and loving me even when I’m not. Glad you were my first visitors here is SA. I’m missing you like crazy.
Love,
Baby Spice
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